A Mary Mindset in a Martha World
Ah, the New Year. We’re all intensely motivated to hit the ground running. The first two weeks are a whirlwind of goal-setting, health kicks, new habits, commitments, vision boards, and rage cleaning (ha… anyone else??). We’re convinced all these things must be done RIGHT NOW and to 100% perfection. Big Martha energy.
And most of these things are good! (Okay, maybe not the rage part, but a thorough deep clean feels amazing.) Being productive is a good thing – and it’s inspiring!
As we check off those boxes, we believe that when we…
finally nail down the BEST routine
make the perfect meal plan
Or really buckle down on exercise
…then we’ll be truly fulfilled. And we’ll feel good – like we’ve got it together!
It does work for a while.
Then comes the burnout.
Discouragement and failure climb into the driver’s seat, and we wonder if we’re doing enough. “Will this just be another year of surviving?” It’s a hard blow, landing right around this time of year.
So I want to ask: Is there another way to enter the New Year? One that doesn’t leave you frazzled and burnt out in week three? One that ties you to your truest purpose and the abundant life God intends for us?
Hint: the answer is YES! It is possible, even for us normal people! I’m a busy mom, too, and I want to share with you what I’m learning in this season.
Mary and Martha: A Lesson in Priorities
I know you’ve heard about Mary and Martha more times than you can count. You can retell it yourself – Martha’s busy, Mary sits, Jesus says Mary chose the better thing. Got it, right?
But no matter how many times we’ve heard it, how often do we actually live like we believe it?
This story isn’t just for “beginner Christians.” If you’re anything like me, you need this reminder as often as you can get it. So let’s sit in the story again and let it sink in.
In Luke 10, Jesus visits Mary and Martha’s home. Both women have the mind-boggling privilege of not only being in His presence but also hosting Him in their own homes. (Can you imagine?). They both had very different responses to His presence.
Martha
Martha, ever the hostess, goes into overdrive – something we’re all well-versed in. Cooking, cleaning, making the house nice for the Savior of the world to sit in. Makes perfect sense!
Mary
Meanwhile, Mary does something that makes every busy mom cringe a little: she plops down. Yup, she plants herself by Jesus and zones out the bustle around her.
If you’re like me, your inner Martha is getting a little annoyed. And she brought her frustration straight to Jesus.
Side Note:
Do we do that? When we feel frustration or bitterness settling in, do we go straight to Jesus with it? Or do we let it shoot out at the friends and family around us, maybe even passive-aggressively?
I think we can learn a very profound lesson from Martha here. Take your concerns, no matter how frivolous they might seem to others (or even you!), straight to Jesus. He is equipped to handle them with the grace and truth you need.
Ok back to the story.
When Martha comes to Jesus, he lovingly redirects her heart to the truth she’s missing. And here’s that verse we all know so well: “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”
How often do we forget this truth throughout a single day?
What do you need to do right now – today – to choose the good portion?
How Would You Respond *Really*?
You’re probably nodding along thinking, “Oh, pshh, I’m totally a Mary. If Jesus physically showed up at my house. I’d drop everything to sit with Him! Duh…”
I want to lovingly ask you, “Would you though?”
Psalm 145:18 says, “The LORD is near to all who call upon Him, To all who call upon Him in truth.”
You may not see Jesus physically sitting on your couch. But Scripture says that His presence with us every day is just as REAL and TRUE as though He were physically right next to you!
Today, right now, at this very moment, you have the SAME opportunity to draw near to Him and BE in His presence as Mary and Martha did in their home.
Are we satisfied BEING WITH Him? Or are we running around in full Martha mode, checking off lists, chasing accomplishment, and squeezing in a quick prayer when we think of it? (Totally speaking to myself here!!)
I need to hear this story every day to keep myself in check! “Am I choosing the best portion today?”
Because the laundry can wait.
The emails aren’t going anywhere.
But the peace, purpose, and clarity that comes from sitting with Jesus? That fuels everything.
Friend, Jesus is already near. He’s here, right now, quietly waiting to be with you. Full of the peace, compassion, and truth we so desperately long for. The thought of that just catches my breath. In my messy, dirty home?? How awesome is that?!
Doing vs. Being
“But Tam, my life is so full. I can’t just ignore my responsibilities!”
I relate to that sooooo much!
And no, our responsibilities don’t magically disappear. We were made to work, use our creativity, and care for others. It’s good and God-honoring! After all, He’s the One who gave us these skills and talents.
Our first and greatest purpose is not to DO more FOR Him, but to BE WITH Him.
DO FOR vs BE WITH. Let that difference sink in.
We’ve fallen into the trap of believing that our value and worth come from what we can DO FOR God. In our families. Our ministry. Our work.
God never put these massive expectations on us – that was all us! The only thing He desires is to BE WITH us. Undistracted by all these activities we want to DO FOR Him. He just wants us. Broken, messy, imperfect, failing me. To plant myself at His feet and soak Him up. 🌱
And honestly, that’s such a relief.
The Fine Line Between Service and Distraction
I read a quote the other day that really stuck out to me. “If you’re too busy for time with the Lord, then you have made yourself busier than you were ever meant to be.”
Ooof. Anyone else get socked in the heart just now?
In Luke 10, Martha WELCOMED Jesus into her home – a truly beautiful invitation! But by verse 40 she became “distracted with much serving.” The root of the word “distracted” literally means “dragging around.” Can you picture it? Martha wasn’t just busy – she was burdened.
I think of the times I frantically run around my house doing all the things – making dinner, texting people back, switching the laundry over to the dryer, answering work emails, helping my kids with homework – dragging around the busyness and burdens of life behind me like a sack of flour.
Martha’s work wasn’t inherently “bad”. But she allowed her work to make her heart anxious and troubled.
That, right there, is the line. When the beautiful work of serving becomes a distraction.
Jesus didn’t correct Martha for working, but for letting the work steal her intimacy with Him.
How To BE WITH God When Your Life Is Packed Full
How do we practically balance BEING WITH the Lord without neglecting our daily, God-given responsibilities?
Set aside and protect a certain amount of time dedicated only to God every day. Guard this time as though your life depends on it – because it does, hah! Call it a “meeting,” set alarms, turn off your phone, leave the house, do whatever it takes to protect this sacred time where you can quietly sit at Jesus’ feet and BE. 🧎
Abide with Him all throughout the day. “Abide” means to “lodge” or “dwell.” I think of it as “home base.” When I go camping, I set up my tent as Home Base. It’s where I keep all my supplies, sleep, eat, and go back to after an adventure. It’s my safe place.
Another way to think of abiding is by looking at a toddler. He goes and plays in the sand, but he always keeps an eye on Mom to make sure she’s nearby. Now and again he’ll toddle back to her, check in, show her his sandy fingers, and refill his courage tank to go play again. She’s his Home Base, his safe place. Without her there, he’s lost.
When we abide (set up Home Base) with God in the same way – bringing Him into our work, our play, our grief, and our joy – we ARE WITH Him all throughout the day. We depend on Him all day long, just like a child depends on his mother.
So pause, take a deep breath, and remember that your truest, greatest calling is to BE WITH the Lord. Even as you go through a day filled with the privilege of service.
Prioritizing Time With God Over Productivity
So as 2025 gets rolling, I want to lovingly challenge you (and myself) to actively prioritize time with God ABOVE productivity.
I know it’s downright scary to press pause on your to-do list and turn off your notifications, trusting that the world won’t fall apart without you. It takes courage to let go of your day and sit quietly at Jesus’ feet.
But let me tell you, friend. There has NEVER been a single time I regretted pausing my day to spend time with Jesus. NOT ONCE.
In fact, your best work comes from a place of trust and rest. It flows from a peaceful, rooted heart instead of an anxious, scattered one. And the crazy thing is your whole family can feel the difference too!
Making a Mary Mindset Practical: A Christian Gift for Moms
How do we make this whole Mary thing sustainable?
Obviously life doesn’t slow down just because we’ve decided to prioritize Jesus. So how do we keep this challenge from slipping away like so many “New Year’s resolutions,” falling apart a few weeks in?
I want to introduce you to something I designed and created specifically with busy moms in mind: the Bible Study Journal. This journal has been a lifesaver! It’s helped me slow down, spend time with Jesus, and realign my greatest affection to Him instead of my tasks.
Here’s why it’s the perfect Christian gift for busy moms:
It’s made BY a mom FOR moms. As someone who lives that hectic mom life daily, I see you. I know badly we need something tangible and practical to help us actually sit down at Jesus’ feet. I know how hard it is to finish any kind of Bible study. The whole design, progression, and structure of this journal were made to fit you and your life.
It structures your quiet time for you. Instead of groping around wondering how to spend time with God, my Bible Study Journal has a set of daily questions to help guide your prayer, thoughts, and real-life application.
It fits your busy life. You don’t need hours of uninterrupted time (what even is that??) This journal was made for real moms with real lives. Even if you only have five minutes, they can be meaningful minutes!
It teaches you to be still and listen. While many studies tell you what to believe or how to live, my Bible Study Journal helps you slow down to hear God’s voice above all the noise. His words to you are the only thing that will satisfy your heart and carry you through the day.
It’s just so pretty! I just love filling my life with beautiful things!I think the Lord made our hearts to be rejuvenated by beauty. My Bible Study Journal is soft, minimalistic, easy on the eyes, and just beautiful to look at. Your friends will perk up when they see it and ask you where you got it. 👀
Friend, if you’re ready to lay down the frantic Martha routine and quiet your soul before the Lord, this journal has helped me do just that. And I desperately want you to experience that same freedom – the BEST THING, as Jesus calls it.
If you are a husband, friend, or child, this is the best Christian gift for moms. You’ve probably seen her a little stressed out and crazy sometimes, right? How about helping her out with something that points her back to the True Source of Peace? You can show her how much you support her by giving her something she’ll treasure and use every single day.
Click below to grab your Bible Study Journal today (or grab a few for your friends in the group chat,) and take the first step towards a Mary 2025.
You’re not alone! I’m in this with you, and we’ll learn to sit at Jesus’ feet together.
